Wednesday, October 28, 2009

jumping off the DIEP end

Wow. Did some homework yesterday and I have an idea of when I might cut the bitches off. It may be as early as February. Wow. It feels so real now. So strange but real. Like I really am a brca mutant. Like I am not going to wake up from this dream. This dream is really my life. I hate to admit it but I felt a little excited yesterday. I can finally see an end to this. Well, it won't ever be over cuz I'll have new numb boobs but this anxiety about it will be over. SOON! dw got butterflies in her stomach when I told her we might be on for February. It's been almost three months now that I have been dealing with this and feels like nothing was ever going to happen. I kept pushing my decision deadline back and back. I've been leaning towards surgery for about a month and a half but I think I was kind of hoping I would never have to do anything. This is it. The game is on.

I have seen a few plastic surgeons and done a lot of research and am going to have diep reconstruction. That is where they take your belly fat and use it for your new boobs. So I will have new boobs and a new flat belly. My new boobs will look real and be warm or cold depending on the temperature. They will grow or shrink as my body weight grows or shrinks. I should be able to feel them a little bit. Kind of like if you iced your ankle for fifteen minutes - you can feel it but it is kind of numb. I am hoping they can do a nipple sparing surgery which means I would keep my nipples and they too can react to hot and cold (way cool!) but probably no feeling what so ever. There is a chance that a boob can fail (die). If that is the case, they would do another kind of procedure to replace it, I think it is called GAP. This is where they take tissue from your butt. Yep! Gives a whole new meaning to t&a.

These surgeries are high tech and are done by micro-surgeons. We have a few people that do them here in slc but they don't do very many and the surgeries take over 12 hours. If I do it here, it may require two surgeries because of how long it takes. They like you to do the mastectomies first and have an expander put in to keep the skin loose and then once I heal from that 4 hour surgery they would do the 12 hour diep surgery. I am not crazy about having to heal from 2 surgeries and I definitely do not want to wake up without boobs from that first surgery. I also don't want dw sitting around for 12 hours wondering how things are going. I do have another option. I could fly to south carolina and have it done by a dr that does about a hundred of these a year. She would do it along with another micro-surgeon and it takes about 6 hours and I would have boobs when I wake up. Sounds like a no brainer! But things are never that easy. I need to get my insurance to go along with it since it will be out of network. I only have in network insurance which has been great since it comes with no deductible and 100% coverage. So now I have 2 weeks to try and get this approved before I need to decide if we should change our coverage because it is open enrollment time at work. Luckily the surgeon's office will do most of the hard work for me and they have a lot of experience dealing with insurance so I will have to trust whatever they say.

So hopefully we will be in sc in february. If anyone knows any cool things to do or see in charleston, let us know! We will have to be there for about ten days.


  1. If I hadn't just read the top ten list of things not to mention, I might have said at this point, "Free boob job AND a vacation in South Carolina. Lucky!!!" ;-)! Sounds like you've done all your homework and then some. I'm not surprised; you've always been the calm, rational one of the family. Love ya! Love to TJ!

  2. Yes, this will be one unforgettable vacation with some amazing souvenirs. Definitely not free by any means though! Love you

  3. Hi Janine, After doing lots of research, I came to the same conclusion that you did - get the best reconstruction by the most experienced surgeon you get haul ass over to. I decided to cut to the chase and go to New Orleans. Also switching to better coverage to get this done. Good luck to you!

  4. Thanks, Dee. I know you will be in great hands at nola! I loved my pre-cancer cute, albeit small, boobs. So if I have to have numb boobs I want to make sure they look even more fabulous than the originals and I don't want just anyone working on them.