Wednesday, September 30, 2009

triple mutant in the house

Cut the bitches off! Have to thank my sis in law for that title. That's what she has been telling me since I got cancer. Even before I found out about this additional mutation. I think I have three mutations now but I am not a scientist so maybe I am wrong. My first one came at the age of 16 - type 1 diabetes. Caught that from my wonder twin. Thanks a lot sis! Second one came at 23 - the gay gene. My dear wife (dw) doesn't like me to call it a mutation. Don't worry honey, it's my fav one:) Third one came knocking at 41 - brca2+. (Sorry sis, paybacks are a bitch). This one causes an increase in profanity and tear duct activity. Good side effects include an increase in libido as your body panics that you are actually contemplating the "slice and gut" as I like to call it. My team of docs (tod) are much more dignified and prefer to call it the removal of breast tissue and ovaries. Slice and gut in 2009?? Surely there is something better in this day and age you ask! According to tod, this is the gold standard of treatment. Cool, do I get a sticker if I go thru with this?

I do have other options. I can get a breast mri and mammogram once a year and clinical breast exams every six months, a vaginal pelvic ultrasound and pelvic exam every six months along with a blood test. My gyn/onc looks just like my little sister's friend, Christine. (C-why are you sticking your finger up there)??? Doesn't sound too bad, huh? Well these tests don't prevent cancer, they are just to try and catch an impending new cancer early. Will I get another cancer? No one can say for sure. But cancers in my family are a dime a dozen. Even rare ones they tell you not to worry about. And the tests don't hurt but they mess with your head. Had my first mri today. Got out of there feeling like a wreck. How many days now until I get the results? Even worse than that, means my onc will be calling me. I'm sure he's going to be on my ass to choose a treatment. Told him I was waiting until I saw my genetic counselor before making a decision. Well, that appt came and went last week. Haven't made any decision yet. Sorry, I am a procrastinator, it's in my genes! Maybe if I get good results with this mri it will buy me some more time.

What am I deciding on? I need to either start radiation and take tamoxifen or go ahead with the slicing part. Problem is, I hate all the options. Radiation just seems wrong. No healthy person would ever want to get radiated. It's like shooting poison at your body. Plus, if I do get more cancer and have to chop the boob off, my new fake boob (foob) might not look as nice. And the tamoxifen? It comes with some side effects that just scare me. Yes, the percentage of getting the side effects are low but I learned not to gamble somewhere around the Bill's second superbowl loss in a row. Or was it the third? Don't know, sometimes I'm a little slow on the take.

Anyways, this is my life now. At least til I decide what to do. I am hoping that I won't think about it much after my decisions are made.