Wednesday, January 6, 2010

barkeep...pour me another beer. please

Guess my girls are fighters cuz they are using every excuse in the book to try and stick around. The newest bump in the road is that my surgery has been delayed until maybe april. Well, if I want to keep the surgeon I have chosen then my surgery is postponed due to circumstances out of anyone's control. I could choose to keep that date and use another surgeon, wait until maybe april and use my surgeon, or look into another group of surgeons all together. I am also considering getting my ooph now while I wait for the pbm. Of course that would mean a big fight to get hormone therapy since I would still have my danger boobs. The tods aren't too keen on giving hormones to breast cancer boobs that are estrogen/progesterone positive. i.e. cancer fueled by hormones.

Decided to feed my pity tonight rather than try and fight it. Was supposed to meet dw at the gym for some running but I asked her to come right home after work instead and to please pick me up some beer and ice cream. Yes, weird combo but that's what I needed. And the beer is apricot anyway so the sweetness goes with the ben and jerry's just fine, thank you. I suppose I could have gone to the store myself but honestly, it was hard enough pulling myself together just to take the dog out. My emotions could really use a break. All this up and down shit is confusing the hell out of them. Good thing we are seeing the bcsw on friday. I made that appointment because we were getting nervous about my upcoming surgery. Since then, we have run into the upcoming insurance issue and now no surgery to get nervous about after all. I feel like I should just bring my own box of tissues with me, especially since I have the kind with lotion in them and theirs are the scratchy kind. What would they do if you walk into therapy with your own box of tissues? Maybe commit you asap. Ha, ha, funny thing happened on the way to my mastectomies...

On the bright side, I will now be home for super bowl sunday and can continue our tradition of having people over for the big game. We can watch the olympic opening ceremonies on our nice tv instead of the crappy hospital tv. We will be home for valentine's day and can celebrate with style:) I have a call-back interview on friday and now I don't have to tell them I would need february off. Perhaps I can snowboard this entire winter. And maybe my boob will finish healing and I can get a little use out of it before it hits the chopping block. Guess I can return the south carolina travel books back to the library before they are overdue.


  1. That's so frustrating to have your surgery postponed again! I've only had it happen once and I thought that was bad. Seems like if you have a surgeon you are comfortable with, it's worth waiting for.. this whole thing is so scary, it's nice to at least have confidence in your doctor. And as you said, at least there is snowboarding in the meantime. Way to find the silver lining! :)

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  3. Hi Janine,

    I feel for you. Once I decided to go forward with my surgery, I just wanted it over and done with. Hang in there! And thank you for your recent comments on my blog. All of my friends in the blogosphere have helped me along so much.

  4. Hey Janine,
    I hope days are a bit better since the news of the postponement. I love your pics of you guys in Cali. So happy you found the normal you were looking for there. I am glad you see brighter sides of all this. You are an amazing woman. Love You.