Monday, February 1, 2010

can i get some crackers to go with that?

Having some chicken broth for dinner. Almost reached for some crackers because how can you have soup without crackers? And might as well have some cheese to go along with the crackers. And how about a pickle? Pickles and cheese go together like peanut butter and jelly. At least I think so! Oh yeah, can't eat any food cuz I have surgery tomorrow morning. They did let me eat up until noon today though so I made the most of it. DW made the best pancakes over the weekend, chocolate chip and blackberries. Had the leftovers for breakfast and added blueberries and bananas. Then squeezed in a chai and candy bar after getting my pre-op done at the hospital. Had to pee in a cup and have some blood drawn and shell out some money. Got tagged too. Guess I'm all set to go.
Had a wonderful weekend. We went boarding/skiing friday and saturday and conditions were pretty perfect. Blue, sunny skies and lots of snow. Packed a lunch friday but splurged on the chili and brownie on saturday. Took in a movie on sunday, invictus. Awesome movie and not just about rugby. I kind of thought we might be on edge over the weekend due to stress but we were pretty relaxed. Shed just a couple of tears last night. They slipped out after our 'last time' pre-surgery. I wasn't super sad but it's hard not knowing how things are going to be. Hard to say which surgery pains me more, taking out the innards or cutting off the boobs. The boobs are a visible reminder and will feel different but most of the time they are under wraps anyway, unless I take them out to play. The ovaries are invisible to me and leave no visible scar. But they affect my entire body. I have to worry about hair loss, dry skin, crazy moods, loss of libido, vaginal dryness and who knows what else. I've come to grips with it all although I still have those moments where I can't believe this is my life. Less than a year ago I had never heard of brca and would have bet a million dollars that I wasn't a brca mutant. Now, tomorrow at this time I will be half-way through my journey. I am ok. I had a brief panic attack this morning as I drove to the hospital for my pre-registration so I guess I kind of know how I will feel tomorrow on my way to surgery. I get to go first since I'm diabetic and they don't like to fool around with our meds too much so I am lucky that I don't have to sit around all day. I will be checking in at 7am. Should take a couple of hours I think. DW will send some updates out, maybe by facebook and maybe as a guest blog here. Thank you for all your thoughts and well wishes.

5 comments:

  1. thinking of you, my "nicest person i ever met" friend. we'll watch for your updates. xoxo from me and joy.

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  2. Good luck! You are absolutely doing the right thing. I'll be thinking of you and sending positive thoughts.

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  3. Good luck-will be thinking of you and sending positive thoughts you way tomorrow. I agreee you are the nicest person I ever met- XXOO-Jen and hey nice call on the brownie and chili and brownie! Get better quick becasue I am plannig a late spring trip to the slopes!

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  4. Good luck! I hope everything goes well and that you have a speedy recovery. I'll be thinking of you today!

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  5. How are you feeling? It's been a week since surgery - I'm sorry I haven't been in touch - it's been a week since my surgery too. :) Hope you are feeling and doing good!

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