Tuesday, June 29, 2010

letting go, moving on

I think (hope) I have finally reached the point of letting go of my self-pity and just getting on with things. By 'things' I mean mental things. I have been moving on with my life but still was kind of stuck in a rut of 'woe is me' even while I realized that others do have it worse than me. Not to belittle brca, but it is not the end of the world - that is, I won't let it be the end of my world. That being said, I'm kind of over talking about my life and my brca journey. I'm not really doing anything at the moment, other than surveillance (depending on my upcoming mammo and dr visit). And wt is doing well and healing and just about all filled up and waiting for her exchange. So I don't have much to share anymore, brca wise. I will probably continue to blog, but may try and change it up a bit and maybe focus on groups/people/organizations that are helping the cause.

It has been a year now since I flunked my first mammo. Almost a year since I found out I had cancer and almost a year since I first heard that four-letter word, brca. I've grown a lot in that year: learned a lot, cried a lot and changed a lot. It is time for me to shift my focus elsewhere and to shove brca to the back of my brain and only bring it out for dr appointments, breast exams, etc. Ha, ha! That won't likely happen but you get my point. I'm done moping and feeling bad. I'm ready to let go. So what if I might have to cut the bitches off eventually. I will get over it.

I just realized the other day that on my one year anniversary of my lumpectomy-reexcision surgery, I will be backpacking the zion narrows! How awesome is that! I've been wanting to do that ever since the day hike I did in the narrows several years ago. So you see, there is life after brca and it is great:)

2 comments:

  1. Good for you, Janine - I'm proud of you for moving on. You're right, BRCA isn't everything - there's a whole world out there ready to take our focus. Maybe some day I may be able to post a similar blog entry, who knows..
    Best of luck to you!

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  2. Yay, Janine! You know me - I had to have the surgery before I could move on. Always in a hurry to slice and gut!!!! You have much more patience than me. Keep on moving on, even if/when it involves surgery. Your life doesn't have to be on hold when you are recovering, it's just altered somewhat. (You will still grow and learn and find new adventures.) Love you! Happy birthday. wt

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